More of a rant than anything

If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s when a commercial markets its products by taking an existing song and changing the lyrics to relate to that particular product. You see it all the time. I view it as one of the lazier forms of advertising out there. I guess you have to find a song that fits your product, although you know what that’s not even true. As long as you change the words enough you can make just about any song into anything you want. With a little bit of creativity I’m fairly certain I could advertise Diapers by using the song Nookie by Limp Bizkit. …Remember Limp Bizkit?

Anyway, let me cite a recent example of this that I’m sure everyone knows. Keep in mind this is purely my opinion and I’m sure a lot of people will disagree. Also keep in mind, you’re wrong. I absolutely despise those Mini Wheat commercials. For years now they’re just changed song lyrics to be about Mini Wheats. Sure the song gets ridiculously caught in your head but is that really a good thing? That doesn’t make me want to go out and buy Mini Wheats. It makes me want to go out and smash every box of Mini Wheats I can get my hands on. I know a lot of people love these commercials but I know more people who hate them. I just can’t support a company who seems so determined to drive me insane.

I will say that I think having the mini wheat is a great idea for a brand character. It makes perfect sense for the product and I think it could work well…if the damn thing wasn’t singing old songs from the 60’s with changed lyrics all the time. There’s so many better things that could be done with this brand character that it really feels like a wasted opportunity to me. However for getting the brand stuck in people’s heads, whether in a good or bad way, the campaign is successful.

A campaign I can’t rate successful on any level is those new cheese commercials. The most recent one has a family sitting around a table singing “Love with keep us Together” only now the lyrics are “Cheese Will Keep Us Together.” Get it?! HAHAHAHAHAHA! This commercial makes me want to weep. It’s easily in my top 3 worst commercials on the air right now. For the record, my full top 3 would be as follows…

1) I forget the company but the deodorant commercial where this woman is giving 5 ways it makes you feel or something. Then she acts “wacky” by high fiving strangers and whatever. If this commercial doesn’t make you break down and cry, you’re god damn Superman.
2) The above mentioned cheese commercial. How not one person during production stepped forward and said “Guys this is terrible maybe we shouldn’t do this” is a miracle.”
3) That Rogers commercial for the top 10 friends. First of all, how long have these people been friends for, 5 hours? How do they not their best friend’s mom’s name? Also why did this guy put his mom in his phone under her first name?! Was it because he knew his friends were going to go through it? In that case tell them to screw off and to stop touching your stuff. Further more how convenient is it that they found out the mom’s name at that key moment? This commercial is a sin.

Anyway back to my loose argument here. I think coming up with a song or a catchy jingle is a great way for a company to make their brand stand out from the competition. The problem here is that these aren’t jingles! These are songs that already exist with very slightly altered lyrics! This is a bunch of lazy people having a 10 minute board meeting where they pitch “who cares just change the lyrics to Hey Jude and make them about fish or whatever” and then calling it a day. Alka Seltzer, that was a jingle. The McDonald’s Big Mac song, that’s a jingle. Cheese will keep us together? I don’t even know what the hell that is but it makes my face hurt thinking about it. In conclusion, please companies, show just a touch of originality when you’re coming up with these things. Don’t make me find you. RANT OVER!

I blame all this anger on the girl in J207 who has been playing Panic at the Disco songs for almost an hour now. *shudder*